Your hosts are Good Ole JR and Paul the EFF Heyman. Heck yeah.
Stevie Richards/Bill DeMott vs The Basham Brothers – Oh goody. Doug and DeMott start off. Doug tries to belly-to-back suplex DeMott but can’t lift him so DeMott bulldogs him out of nowhere. Weird. DeMott whips Doug into the ropes and hits a samoan drop before tagging in Richards. Richards walks in and stomps Doug in the head. He picks Doug up and suplexes him over CRISPLY (Heyman’s words). He picks Doug up again but Doug knees him in the gut and hits a shotty gutwrench suplex. Doug tags in Danny and Danny starts stomping Stevie away. Uh, guys? Tag wrestling doesn’t just mean you tag your partners in out. Where’s the teamwork? Danny whips Stevie into the ropes and clotheslines him down. He picks Stevie up and bodyslams Stevie down. He picks Stevie up and suplexes him down. He picks Stevie up and I fuckin’ yawn cause this is boring. Danny whips Stevie into the ropes and doubles over but Stevie hits a sunset flip for two which Doug breaks up. Stevie ducks another clothesline and hits the Stevie kick and tags in DeMott. DeMott gives some clubbing forearms to Danny. Danny ducks a clothesline though and clotheslines DeMott himself. Doug tagged in and he beats up DeMott. He whips DeMott to the ropes and dropkicks him down. He follows up with the dreaded REAR CHINLOCK. DeMott fights up like a face though and whips Doug into the ropes but Doug hits the spinning heel kick on the rebound. Doug tries a frankensteiner but gets powerbombed into the mat and we the dreaded ten count. Pseudo-quasi-hot tag to Stevie Richards and he cleans house. DeMott press-slams Doug out the ring and Danny gets hit with the Stevie-T at 8:55. (-½*) Worse than I can make it sound folks. There weren’t even any double team moves. The fuck? This isn’t tag wrestling. Things do not look good for this division.
YET BACKSTAGE, Bubba and D-Von confront new RAW GM Paul Orndorff about the tag team titles. He says all will be revealed next week on RAW.
Commercials.
“I’m WONDERFUL!” Paul Orndorff comes to the ring and talks about the Taboo Tuesday PPV on October 19th. He says he’ll make some big announcements regarding that PPV next week. But for now he wants to announce the WWE World Title Tournament beginning RIGHT NOW with Randy Orton taking on John Cena!
WWE World Title Tournament: Randy Orton vs John Cena – Chain wrestling to start. Crowd pops like crazy for Cena by the way. Cena gets the upperhand with a hip toss. Orton keeps getting up and punched down by Cena. Orton backs off and they lock up again but this time Orton gets the upperhand with a HEADLOCK. Cena pushes him into the ropes but Orton ducks the clothesline and hits a flying crossbody on Cena for two. Orton up and Cena small packages him for two. They start trading punches as Cena calls this a “Battle of Icons.” He clarifies this by saying Orton and Cena were icons for their respective shows. Riiiiiight. Orton dropkicks Cena out of the ring and follows out. Orton punches Cena some more on the outside and sends him back in. Well that was pointless. Orton hits a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Orton picks Cena up and whips him into the ropes but Cena flies onto with a Lou Thesz press and some punches. Little variety in their movesets is nice. Cena whips Orton into the ropes and locks a sleeper on. Orton counters with a jawbreaker though and almost hits the RKO but Cena thrusts him off and rolls out of the ring as we go to break. Back from break as both men double clothesline each other for a dreaded 10-count spot. Both men back up and they double clothesline each other AGAIN. Back up again at 6 as Orton ducks a clothesline and rolls Cena up, holding the tights mind you. Heyman comments but JR ignores. Cena catches a crossbody attempt off the turnbuckles with a powerslam. He follows up with the five knuckle shuffle for two. Cena lifts Orton onto his shoulders but Orton rolls off, spins Cena around and hits the RKO out of nowhere for 3 @ 13:53. (*) That was certainly dull. Orton extends the handshake of gratitude to Cena and then yanks him for the RKO. JR is nutso over this. Orton takes a mic and says he’s going to win the tournament and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. K. So, heel turn?
Commercials.
MEANWHILE BACKSTAGE, Batista finds out from Paul Orndorff he’ll be wrestling tonight in a six man tag match. Batista wants to know who his partner is and JBL walks into the room. Followed by Booker T. Lots of boos on these two.
The Hurricane vs Johnny Nitro – YES at the return of Johnny Nitro. He was awesome. Nice chain wrestling to start sees Nitro take control with a rake-to-the-eyes. He’s a heel to boot. Rock. Snap suplexes from Nitro gets two. Hurricane whipped into the ropes but he gets dropkicked down. Hurricane ducks a clotheline however and nails a superkick on Nitro to gain an advantage. He gets two off it by the way. Hurricane whips Nitro into the turnbuckle hard and hits the bulldog off the ropes for two. Hurricane bodyslams Nitro but misses a legdrop from the second turnbuckle. Flying forearm by Nitro gets two. Both men back up and Nitro starts pounding away on Hurricane. He whips Hurricane into the ropes and catches a sleeper on the rebound, but then hits the falling sleeper driver thingie Jericho does. That only gets two. Nitro puts Hurricane on a turnbuckle but Hurricane kicks him away and hits the Overcast. He sluggishly makes a cover for two. Hurricane tries for the Shining Wizard but Nitro counters and locks on a Texas Cloverleaf. Hurricane makes the ropes after awhile though. Nitro picks up him up and whips him into the ropes but Hurricane ducks a clothesline and on the rebound hits the Shining Wizard. He picks Nitro up and hits the Eye of the Hurricane for good measure and the pin at 8:44. (**¼) Solid enough. Hurricane celebrates before getting jumped by Matt Other Tough Enough Winner. Matt is sporting a WCW Thunder t-shirt by the way. Matt and Nitro beat down the Hurricane before finally departing.
Commercials.
Backstage Chris Benoit is confronting someone from Smackdown, obviously enough. Benoit tells the guy that this is RAW, it’s a different show, and that this guy has to respect the people on the show. The Undertaker walks into the shot to a big pop and stares Benoit down before leaving.
Commercials. Again.
Main Event: Chris Benoit/William Regal/Undertaker vs JBL/Batista/Booker T – Yay for overstocked main events! Batista starts out with Regal and overpowers him with devastating forearm shots. Whip into the ropes and Regal gets clotheslined down by Batista. Batista picks Regal up but gets small packed for 2 quickly. Both men split and lock up Regal outwrestled Batista locking on an armbar. Batista slings him into the ropes but Regal hits him with a closed fist shot on the rebound. Regal tags in the Undertaker and Taker pounds away on Batista. Taker whips Batista into the ropes but gets shoulderblocked down by the former Evolution man. Batista goes for a tag but either partner refuses. Batista audibly calls them “pussies.” And turns around to get a big boot by the Undertaker. Taker stares down JBL as if to say “We got unfinished business.” Taker picks Batista up buts spinebustered out of nowhere and Batista forcefully tags in Booker. Booker comes in and stomps away at the Dead Man. He lifts the Taker up and bodyslams him down. JR calls that “a somewhat inhuman feat.” Yeeeeeeeeah. Booker whips Taker into the ropes but Taker ducks a clothesline and hits the flying clothesline on the rebound. Taker tags in Benoit to a HUMONGOUS pop. Benoit chops the HELL out of Booker and whips him into the ropes only to clotheslines him back down. He picks Booker up and nails a few SICK snap suplexes. Whip into the ropes is reversed by Booker and Bradshaw hits Benoit in the back which brings in the Taker and Regal and it’s PURE MADNESS IN THE RING as we go to break. Back from break and apparently Regal was tagged in as well as JBL. JBL has locked on… Wait for it… Wait for it… A REAR CHINLOCK! Regal fights out of it but JBL pounds him down with clubbin’ forearms. JBL whips Regal into the ropes but Regal ducks a clothesline and hits a desperation neckbreaker. Long dragged out 10-count spot sees a hot tag to Undertaker and Batista. They trade punches with Taker getting the upperhand. Taker whips Batista into the ropes but Batista counters and sends Taker instead, hitting a powerslam on the rebound. He picks Taker up and press-slams him! JR calls that “MONUMENTAL EFFORT.” Batista tags in JBL who goes to work with clubbing forearms on the Undertaker and then a fallaway slam. But Taker sits up unfortunately. Taker beats up JBL and tosses him to the outside not realizing that Booker made a tag. Booker charges across the ring with Batista and they knock Benoit/Regal off the apron. Taker turns to Booker but gets kicked to the gut and scissor kicked out of nowhere for three at 16:48. (*) Not enough Benoit or Regal. Too much Taker. Too much this match sucked. Mass carnage continues as Paul Orndorff comes out and announces next week, the WWE World Title Tournament will concluded, and all six men will be in it.
Final Thoughts: Errr. It ain’t Smackdown that’s for sure. The tag division doesn’t look good at all. The main event lacks a lot of good talent with Benoit being the only proven worker. I don’t know. This show is going to need some work. |
Your hosts are Michael Cole and Super New Smackdown Announcer DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE.
“Money, money, money, money, moneeeeeeeeeeeey.” Ted Dibiase out in his spanking gold/black suit. He says that all titles have been vacated, from the Cruiser to the US to the WWE. At No Mercy he’s making the first ever “Random Melee” match. The rules are as follows, 6 wrestlers of his choosing will participate. Two will start out, when one loses, another wrestler will enter the ring who is randomly chosen. This will continue until the sixth man wrestles whoever survives the gauntlet. The winner will be named U.S. Heavyweight champion. Starting next week a Round Robin Tournament of FIVE Cruiserweight wrestlers will begin. Whoever has the most points at the end of the tournament will be the Cruiserweight champion. And starting NEXT will be the WWE title tournament with Eddie Guerrero vs Rhyno.
Commercials.
A promo hyping the upcoming debut of LOW KI plays.
WWE Title Tournament: Rhyno vs Eddie Guerrero – Rhyno pearl harbors Eddie because he’s a heel now apparently. Clubbin’ forearms to the back of Guerrero sends him reeling into the ropes. Rhyno whips him into the ropes and takes Eddie down with a clothesline but only gets one. And Rhyno quickly rotates into a REAR CHINLOCK! The fuck? Eddie quickly starts fighting back though and counters with a belly-to-back suplex. Eddie bounces off the ropes and takes Rhyno down with a headscissors. Rhyno back up but Eddie dropkicks him to the outside. Eddie flies to the outside and misses by nearly a damn mile. Rhyno plays it off well though. Eddie seems hurt. Rhyno whips Eddie into the steps and then spears Eddie into the ringpost as we go to break. Back from break and Rhyno has a knee-into-the-back-while-grabbing-the-chin (aka REAR CHINLOCK) locked in. Eddie fights up again but this time Rhyno clotheslines him back down. Rhyno drops down with a quick headbutt. Picks Eddie up, doubles him over, and powerbombs him. That only gets two. Rhyno up but Eddie small packages him for two. Rhyno clotheslines Eddie quickly. Rhyno whips Eddie into the turnbuckles and drills him with some shoulderblocks. He lifts Eddie onto the turnbuckles but Eddie fights back and hits a tornado DDT into the middle of the ring. Long rest moment as we get the “knocked out 10 count” deal. Rhyno is up first in the corner, as Eddie is getting up slower in the other corner. Eddie turns around and leapfrogs the GORE GORE GORE by Rhyno. Rhyno ricochets dazedly off the turnbuckle and Eddie hits the rolling suplexes. Eddie goes up top and nails the frog splash for three at 11:59. (*¾) Surprisingly dull. Both men phoned that one in. Give ‘em a few months though and I bet they mesh better.
MEANWHILE BACKSTAGE, Ted Dibiase is just getting off the phone with someone. Then another guy enters in front of the camera, pan around reveals: CHRIS JERICHO. Crowd EXPLODES with Y2J chants. Chris remarks “So this is what the Rock feels like.” Brilliant. Chris wants in the WWE title tournament. Another man shoves Jericho out the way and it’s Edge, to a rather massive set of boos. Edge remarks “Why do I feel like I just beat a Hardy boy for the tag team titles?” Edge wants in the WWE title tournament as well. Dibiase kindly informs them that they are BOTH in the tournament. Edge and Jericho snip at each other before leaving.
Commercials.
BUT BACKSTAGE, Eddie Guerrero enters Chris Jericho’s lockerroom. There’s a glaredown (as opposed to staredown) before Eddie smiles and hugs Jericho. Eddie welcomes Y2J to Smackdown.
Paul London vs Billy Kidman – Apparently the heel turn for London is all but cemented now. Lock up to start and then a series of long running reversals leads to: INDY APPLAUSE! Kidman goes for the lock up London RAKES THE EYES BAH GAWD. He whips Kidman into the ropes and takes Kidman over with a hurricanrana for two. Both men back up and Kidman quickly, out of nowhere, dropkicks London the to the outside. Kidman runs and springs off the turnbuckles and to the outside on top of London (a move OBVIOUSLY stolen from Christian). Kidman up first but London low blows him. Paul climbs up to the apron and asai moonsaults onto Kidman. It’s NITRO BABY! Both men up and Kidman hotshots London on the apron and rolls in to break the count. He climbs up onto the turnbuckle and flies off with a crossbody. Uh. Guys. We get the point. Kidman rolls London in but waits too long and gets nailed with a baseball slide kick. London then hits a corkscrew plancha over the ropes onto Kidman. Alright now THAT is just unecesarry. Both men are out on concrete as we go to break. Back from break and Kidman ducks a clothesline and hits the sitout powerbomb on the rebound for two. Kidman whips London into the ropes, but London counters by jumping up to the turnbuckle and moonsaulting off onto Kidman for two. London puts Kidman on the top turnbuckle and attempts a frankensteiner but Kidman shoves him off into the ring. Kidman gets up for the SSP but won’t do it. He climbs down and London rolls him up for two. London does the impossible and powerbombs Kidman. He goes up top and hits the London Calling perfectly and that gets 3 at 12:09. (*½) That match reminds me of a Dalmatian. Full of spots. Har.
MEANWHILE, Ted Dibiase announces the first two wrestlers in the Cruiserweight Round Robin Tournament: Rey Mysterio and Spike Dudley! Yay! BUT WAIT: SHAWN MICHAELS wants in the WWE title tournament! Dibiase says he’s pissed of people making demands, so he gives Shawn a tournament spot against another former RAW star: Tyson Tomko.
Commercials.
Tajiri/Funaki vs Rico/Charlie Haas – Wait… I thought the whole purpose of the new direction was to get rid of tag team wrestling on Smackdown? Eh well. Funaki and Rico start off. DDP comments that Haas looks less than enthusiastic. Oh hey, Tajiri is on Smackdown now. Neat. Funaki and Rico do some sloppy chain wrestling. Rico gains the upper hand with a snap suplex and then some elbowdrops. Funaki ducks a clothesline and hits a sunset flip for two and quickly tags in Tajiri. Tajiri ducks Rico’s spinkick and DRILLS Rico with a kick of his own. Tajiri hits a sambo suplex on Rico. Charlie seems like he could care less. Funaki tagged back in and they hit a double suplex followed by double elbowdrops. Only gets two though. Funaki hits the sitout dropkick on Rico and then locks him in a REAR CHINLOCK. Sigh. Rico gets the crowd into it slightly and fights up and hits a belly-to-back suplex. Hot tag process begins but Funaki cuts it short and DDP notes that Haas didn’t even attempt to make the tag. Heel turn folks! Funaki drags Rico to the otherside and tags in Tajiri who nails a series of DEVASTATING KICKS. Rico fights back though and hits the spinkick. Tajiri ducks a clothesline and kicks Rico to the waist. Whip to the ropes but Rico ducks a clothesline. Tajiri does the handstand springboard elbow thingie but Rico catches him and German suplexes him down. Hot tag process begins again. Rico stops Tajiri though and snap suplexes him over. He walks over for the tag but Charlie spits in his face. Tajiri stumbles up and Rico walks into a stiff kick, followed by the KICK OF DEATH~! Which gets three at 7:35. (*) Tajiri is helped to the back by Funaki. Rico confronts Charlie and for his efforts get the shit beat out of him. Ends with the Haas of Pain locked on Rico. Michael Cole calls this an “Atrocity.”
YET BACKSTAGE, Triple H is walking into Ted Dibiase’s office. The crowd boos implicitly.
New promo for No Mercy hyping it as the beginning of a new era, and it has a new date: October 17th.
Commercials.
WWE Title Tournament: Kurt Angle vs Rey Mysterio – Chain wrestling to start ends with Angle having the upperhand. Angle turns and armbar into an armdrag and holds the armbar. Rey Rey fights up though, and does the front flip into the counter wristlock and takedown from No Mercy. Angle up but Rey Rey dropkicks him down. Angle up and Rey Rey dropkicks him down again. Angle up but this time he dodges the dropkick and kicks Rey Rey to the head. He picks Rey up and suplexes him back down. More stomps follow. Picks Rey up and whips him into the ropes, Rey ducks a clothesline, but Angle catches Rey in a spinning heel kick and drops him across his (Angle’s) knee backfirst. Angle and Rey chain wrestle some more but this time Rey gets the upper hand. A few pin fall attempts get two for Rey. Both men back up with Rey locking on a headlock. Angle whips him into the ropes and shoulderblocks him down. Angle goes into the perpendicular ropes but Rey leap frogs him and hits a spinning heel kick on the rebound for two. Rey whips Angle into the turnbuckle, and charges for a flying a bodysplash but Angle catches him and tosses him outside as we go to break. Back from break and Angle whips Rey into guardrail. He lifts Rey up and drops him leg first across the rail. He rolls Rey into the ring and covers but gets two. Angle hits two dragon legwhips on Rey and then follows it up with a spinning toe hold. He tries the dragon legwhip again but Rey counters with an enziguri. Rey sells the leg as he drops three elbows on Angle and whips him into the ropes. Rey takes Angle down with a headscissors but that hurt his leg. He tries for an asai moonsault but slips and holds the leg. Nice psychology. Angle quickly jumps on top of him and pounds him. He whips Rey into the ropes and hits the belly-to-belly overhead release suplex. Cover gets two. He picks Rey up and grabs him around the waist from behind and plants a German suplex. Then another. Tries for a third time but Rey blocks it. Angle lifts him up though but Rey hits the SUPLEX-PSYCHE-BULLDOG on him. Both men quickly get up but Angle get drop toe holded into the ropes and Rey Rey hits the 6-1-9 to a big pop but his leg is hurting like crazy and he can’t make the cover. Finally he does but Angle gets a foot on the rope at 2 as we go to break. Back from break and Rey clotheslines Angle to the outside. The ref prevents Rey from going out so of course Rey does the somersault plancha onto Angle over the ref. Rey rolls Angle back in and gets on the apron for the West Coast Pop. Angle up and Rey springs on to the ropes but falls into the ring holding his leg. Angle picks him up and goes for the Angle Slam but Rey counters out of it with a reverse bulldog. He goes onto the apron again and this time he’s successful with his attempt but Angle catches him and hotshots him on the ropes. Angle drops the straps and locks the ankle lock on. Rey reaches the ropes but Angle drags him back and Rey Rey taps at 22:11. (***½) Only brought down because of the two commercial breaks. Reports said this match was a classic and I have no doubt in my mind that it was. Angle keeps the ankle lock on until Eddie comes out and makes the save. He empties Angle from the ring and takes a mic to proclaim that as much as things change, Smackdown is still Eddie’s show. Triple H comes from behind though and beats Eddie down and ends things with a Pedigree. Triple H and Angle do a number on Rey Rey and Eddie until Chris Jericho makes the save with a steel chair to run them off. Ted Dibiase comes out to the entryway and says next week Triple H will be in a WWE Title Tournament match, but not against EUGENE like he wanted. Triple H is pissed. Jericho smiles. It’s a Kodak moment. Except then Dibiase announces Triple H’s opponent will be SHANNON MOORE. Michael Cole is going insane because of this. Dibiase laughs evilly© and says Eddie was right, the more things change, the more they stay the same, and every man STILL has a price. And that ends the show.
Final Thoughts: The main event needs to be released in uncut form as it was obviously a classic worth of **** or so. No Mercy could be interesting. Triple H paying off Dibiase for an easy victory though is rather brilliant. Nice to see DDP back on commentary. I also hope Y2J can get a breath of fresh air on Smackdown. Nice to see them play up on the friendship between Jericho and Eddy as well. Not a horrible show by any means, although the Cruisers need to tone down the spottiness. |
Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.
Show opens up to “No Chance In Hell” and out comes Vince McMahon. He calls out the entire RAW roster and Eric Bischoff. He says tonight things will start over. Things will begin fresh. This is the RAW season premiere so there has to be something special. He says his big announcement for Eric Bischoff is: “You’re FIRED.” Bischoff throws a temper tantrum and the crowds does the “na na na na goodbye.” Vince then says he wants to see some tag team wrestling and makes a special inter-promotional match, Dudleys vs La Resistance which comes after the break.
Commercials
Dudley Boys vs La Resistance – Heel vs heel matches always suck. Both teams try to heel it up but it just doesn’t mesh. I guess tag team wrestling has gotten stuck on the point that you NEED a Ricky Morton for the match. Never-the-less. Bunch of punches start it off between Bubba and Sylvan. Bubba goes low, but the crowd is dead on the match, as is often with heel vs heel. Heel communication between D-Von and Bubba sees D-Von hit a headbutt after a powerslam. Irish whip is reversed by Sylvan and Grenier misses a dropkick by a mile, D-Von sells it anyway though. Reverse chinlock follows. Oh dear. D-Von perfects the heel role by fighting out using face tactics. Brilliant. Belly-to-back suplex takes Sylvan down. D-Von into the ropes and there’s a double clothesline for a heat spot four minutes into the match. Somewhat-Quasi-Hot tag to Bubba and Conway. Can it even be a hot tag if it’s the heels? Bubba in but Conway is apparently face as he takes down both Dudleys. However miscommunication sees Conway nailed with the title belt and D-Von dumps Grenier outside and Conway walks into a 3D for three at 6:49. (-¼*) That pretty much sucked ass.
Vince McMahon makes his way out while the teams are still in the ring. He proclaims, from this point on, that RAW will be the home of tag team wrestling. He says there will only be one set of tag titles and they will be defended on RAW and RAW only. All tag teams will be moved to RAW that are on Smackdown. That’s unique, to say the least. It’d be kind of a good idea if there were any good teams.
MEANWHILE BACKSTAGE~! Triple H is wondering what Evolution will do when they find out their new GM but Randy Orton DOES NOT CARE. He gets in Triple H’s face, apparently unafraid of Evolution (you know, the group of people who are always jumping him), and says whoever the new GM is Orton is first in line for a titleshot.
Commercials.
Vince McMahon comes out yet AGAIN. He says that the tag team match was good, but now he wants to see some Cruiserweight action. So he makes the Rey Rey vs Spike Dudley match from Smackdown to happen RIGHT NOW IN THIS VERY RING, except it’ll be non-title because Vince is officially vacating the Cruiserweight belt. Because it has to be fresh, ya dig?
Rey Mysterio vs Spike Dudley – Series of reversals for INDY APPLAUSE~! Starts off the match. Lock up is followed by a series of arm drags by Rey Rey. Spike is getting angry. Another lock up and Spike knees Rey Rey in the gut and then yanks him backwards onto the mat. Boot choking follows this. JR wants to see something “unique and innovative” from Rey Rey. Spike whips Rey Rey into the ropes but it’s a SUPLEX-PSYCHE-BULLDOG by Rey Rey two minutes or so in. Rey Rey hits a quick asai moonsault for two. Snap suplex by Rey Rey is followed by a somersault legdrop for two. Rey Rey lifts Spike up but a dastardly rake-to-the-eye halts the masked man. Side Russian legsweep is followed up by a REVERSE CHINLOCK OF MASS DESTRUCTION. Rey Rey fights back up, whips Spike into the ropes, leapfrops him on the return and tries a monkeyflip but Spike counters with a pin for two. Rey Rey quickly up but gets clotheslined down. Spike tries for the Dudley Dog but Rey Rey crotches him and Spike tumbles to the outside. Rey Rey hits the somersault plancha over the ref onto the outside as we GO TO BREAK. Back from break and we get double action with a replay of Rey Rey hitting an asai moonsault off the apron. Of course they miss the interesting spots. Spike is in control after shoving Rey Rey into the steps though and is stomping away on Rey Rey in the corner. He lifts Rey Rey up and gives a few forearm shots before whipping Mysterio into the opposing corner. Rey Rey ducks a clothesline and hits a spinning heel kick on the return. The dreaded both men out spot follows and Rey Rey gets up at 8. Spike charges but Rey Rey drop-toe-holds him into the ropes. 6-1-9 follows and Spike bounces all around the ring. Rey Rey hops onto the apron as Spike gets up, West Coast Pop is COUNTERED by a sitout power bomb! Spike drags Rey Rey up, and goes for the Dudley Dog but Rey Rey counters with a BACKDROP SUPLEX! Rey Rey is the first up and he puts Spike on the top turnbuckle. He charges the turnbuckle and runs up but Spike pushes Rey Rey onto the ropes crotching him, and Dudley Dogs Rey Rey into the ring. This gets the pin fall at 15:55. (**¼) Dullish and boring with a hot ending. I expect more from Rey Mysterio.
Vince McMahon doesn’t let them get far from the ring before he appears and announces that from now on Smackdown will put extra emphasis on the Cruiserweight division like never before.
BUT BACKSTAGE~! Eddie and Benoit run into one another. They hug and talk about how life is. Aww, they’re friends, get it?
Commercials.
Chris Benoit vs Rene Dupree – Apparently this another Vince mandated match, according to JR. Chain wrestling to start but Dupree can’t keep up. Benoit with a series of suplexes and chops puts him in charge. Dupree ducks a clothesline though and hits a neckbreaker out of nowhere. Stomps follow but Benoit quickly turns the tide. Rolling Germans are followed up by diving headbutt but it only gets two. Lots (and I mean LOTS) more chops and suplexes from Benoit. Repetition? Say it ain’t so Chris! Benoit puts Dupree up top and hits a superplex for two. Clothesline ducked again and Rene kicks Benoit below the belt and a DDT only gets two for Dupree. JR announces tonights main event will see Randy Orton, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels take on The Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero, and Kurt Angle. Both men back up as Benoit unleashes ANOTHER set of Germans and this time follows up with the Crossface. Rene continually tries to fight out but eventually it’s too much and he taps at 8:32. (*½) Let’s just say that since both men have rarely wrestled one another in the ring they didn’t have time to mesh well.
Commercials.
Vince McMahon is in the ring. Again. He calls out Teddy Long and I think we can all see where this is headed. Vince says Teddy did a wonderful job as GM but the times, they are a changing. He, as opposed to saying you’re fired, “is letting Teddy go.” He tell Teddy not to worry though, and to try and get back into managing, cause he can do that all he likes. Then he makes the groundbreaking announcement: RAW and SD will begin trades tonight after RAW goes off the air. These talent trades will NOT be made public. You will simply have to watch both shows to see who’s where. He says after the main event he’ll announce the new GMS of each show. He then says that not to worry, you won’t see any McMahons on RAW or SD after tonight. And to trust him, these two GMs are people who haven’t been GMs before. It’s going to be unique, fresh, different, and innovative. So says he.
Commercials.
Triple H/Randy Orton/Shawn Michaels vs Eddie Guerrero/The Undertaker/Kurt Angle – Can both teams cooperate? Will Team Smackdown (if all members are even on Smackdown anymore) best Team RAW (if all members are even on RAW anymore). Will this match undoubtly be marred by adequacy and averageness (UNDOUBTLY!)? Eddie and Shawn start off and the fanboys of the world scream. I don’t know why, because obviously Shawn will no sell everything. Oh, big surprise, he does. Eddie with a quick series of punches but Shawn no sells them. Eddie whips Shawn into the ropes but Shawn hits the flying forearm on the rebound and tags in Randy. RKO chant starts. Randy hits a vertical suplex right off the back but gets dropkicked quickly after that. Tag into the Undertaker and we get a fight between these and wouldn’t you know it, Taker dominates. Let me tell you I absolutely did not forsee that coming. Orton tries to fight back but it’s no use because the Undertaker has superpowers. Flying clothesline levels Orton and Taker, begrudgingly so, tags in Angle. Angles whoops on Orton but Orton ducks a clothesline and dropkicks Angle. He tags in, begrudgingly so, Triple H. Staredown between the two heels occurs and Angle tags in the Undertaker. Big brawl between the two erupts and it’s MASS CARNAGE/MELEE in the ring. Everyone fights everyone and we CUT TO COMMERCIAL. Back from break and things have settled down to Taker vs Triple H. H gets booted down by the demonic man. Legdrop gets two. Tag into the Eddie who hits the series of suplexes on Triple H for two. Eddie gets hit with the facebuster out of nowhere and a desperation tag is made to Randy Orton. Orton and Eddie go at it for a bit with some nice chain wrestling but out of NOWHERE Orton hits the RKO on Eddie. It gets ONLY TWO because Eddie puts his foot on the ropes BUT WHO CARES ANGLE BREAKS THE COUNT! Orton tags in Triple H who attempts a Pedigree but gets backdropped. Frog splash follows! But Eddie can’t make the cover. And the hot tag process begins as Eddie makes the hot tag to the Undertaker while vice versa Triple H tags in Shawn Michaels! Big brawl between the two with Taker getting the upper hand but Shawn ducks a boot and hits the flying forearm. Kip up by Shawn and he tunes up the band. Angle proceeds into the ring but SWEET CHIN MUSIC sends him out. And wouldn’t ya know it? Orton and Triple H are fighting at ringside! What about teamwork? What about camaraderie? What about the children? Shawn is devastated but he turns around and gets chokeslammed by The Undertaker. Eddie hits the frog splash, and to really drive the point home Taker tombstones Shawn for three at 15:51. (**¾) Mediocrity ROCKS! SD celebrates as refs separate Triple H and Orton.
Commercials.
MAIN EVENT INTERVIEW – Vince McMahon says that the face of WWE is going to change in more than one way. And now the moments everyone has been waiting for. First, the new RAW GM. “I’m WONDERFUL.” Paul Orndorff comes out in a nice business suit! Well that WAS unexpected. He shakes Vince’s hands and promises the RAW fans that things can only go up from here. Vince smiles and then tells them to cue the music. And the crowd literally fucking explodes to “Money, money, money, money, moneeeeeeeeeeeey.” TED THE FUCK DIBIASE comes out in his GREEN FUCKING SUIT BITCHES. He laughs like only he can and hugs Vince and shakes Orndorff hand. The crowd is EATING THIS ALIVE. Dibiase promises that Smackdown will be the best wrestling program on the air. Vince raises both mens hands as JR announces the dawning of a new era.
Final Thoughts: Well tonight was a night for the mediocre but you can’t argue that Orndorff and Dibiase as GMs is fresh. And man the crowd popped like MAD for Dibiase. Orndorff’s reaction was good, but Dibiase was awesome. So next week we’ll hopefully see some fresh faces on RAW. I like the idea of relegating specific divisions to either show. Not a horrible show, angle wise, but did Vince McMahon really need to be in EVERY segment? |
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